Spiritual detour ahead. Didn't see the sign posts and went off the road. Let me number the ways:
- broke my first publicized fast
- someone I've never met but was praying for got his healing in heaven
- logistic/weather problems at our annual National Day of Prayer event. Seriously unbearably hot that day after being flanked by cooler days on either side of the event.
- someone close to me reached in the "way back" machine to pull out a series of behaviors that quite frankly don't work for me anymore, but nevertheless, send me on a quick trip to discouragement
- have been on the unpopular side of many workplace discussions
- broke out in stressed induced hives
- my workplace nemesis lodged a complaint against me with the HR Director
- my IRS amount due was unexpectedly, outrageously high
- signs point to my son going to Afghanistan
- yada, yada yada
I've spent a fair amount of time asking the unanswerable "why God?" question, with no revelation or response. What I did get was an encouraging word from Kelli who sent me back to read the book of Joshua with the words "go back to the place where you were victorious". What I've learned so far:
- be strong and courageous
- set aside quiet moments to build my own memorial to God's power
- don't underestimate God. He can cause great opposition to disappear
- we fight a defeated enemy. When I'm done running into the wilderness, I can turn and chase my pursuers.
- don't rely on my own strength and skills, especially when things seem easy and only go to God for the difficult things. Only God knows what lies ahead. I may get to learn lessons and remove pride before I get through it.
- pray honest prayers even when I am afraid or confused by what is happening around me. God told Joshua "Get Up!"
There's a shift in the wind: Isaiah 43:19 "For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! I will make a pathway through the wilderness". I'm making a U-turn.
