All Things Work Together for Good

There is a scripture I think of often that says "all things work together for good."  I don't have many vivid dreams, but last year I had a dream where I saw myself at the podium in a large place speaking, like a hotel ballroom.  I've been working on my public speaking skills through Toastmasters.  I recently entered a contest because I believed the Lord gave me the topic to research and speak about on child prostitution.  I won the contest at my club and advanced to the Area contest on March 23, a Friday night.  I was prepared, I knew my speech and felt confident.

This was my second TM contest.  The first time I found the people to be unfriendly and competitive.  I was expecting the same.  I sat with my fellow club members and waited for my turn.  I was introduced, started my speech and then my mind went blank.  Everything got jumbled up, and after what seemed like an eternity standing up front, I resigned and sat down.  I wanted to grab my purse and flee.  The worst case scenario just happened leading me to immediately start thinking negative thoughts - why did I think I could be a speaker, I'm not going to do this again, etc.  After the speeches are over, the contest chair called up each speaker for a few words of chit chat.  She waved up me even as I was trying to signal I did not want to come up.  She asked me how long I've been in TM.  I said based on my performance tonight, you'd think I've been in about 2 weeks, but its been almost 3 years.  I decided humor was my best recourse.

After the contest, I got up to make my hasty exit in defeat and there was a woman standing behind me, one of the judges.  She gave me an encouraging word, then there was another person, until there was a line of people waiting to speak to me. "Try this" "Come back" "we wanted to hear more from you"' "don't give up"' etc.  It brought tears to my eyes.

During the church service on the following Sunday, I got a download when Pastor said that before you move into destiny you have to get into the place where God rolls away the junk of the past season.  What happened on Friday was a collision of an old identity and my true identity.  I had to confront the former and make a decision -- who am I?  I am who My Father says I am.  This experience happened and I made the decision not to be devastated, not to make excuses, not to replay it in my mind over and over and call myself a failure.  Instead I see the richness that will be mined in a great story, a future speech, a word of encouragement, a testimony and the remembrance of the day I crossed over fully into my new identity.  The greatest blessing came from the most unexpected source.  Truly, all things do work together for good.

Facing My Fear

Most people know I have a strong Christian faith. I've taken classes, attended conferences, earned a Master's in Practical Ministry and even became an ordained chaplain. I talk to people all the time and liberally exercise my gift of encouragement. You want a good word or prayer? I'm your girl. Pray all day for you, I will. Ask me to walk up to a stranger on the street and talk about Jesus? Yeah, that's not going to happen. Until it did happen under the gracious watch of Kim. She told me exactly what to do, let me role play, then she launched me into an Avondale neighborhood. I knocked on doors and read my script. People didn't cuss at me or slam their doors in my face. They simply prayed along. And this was crazy because it worked. Salvation after salvation. I prayed with one young man and Kim got his 3 snickering brothers onto the porch and
repeating the sinner's prayer. We moved on to a nursing home where people wanted to know about their eternal life. My Heavenly Father is giving me some pretty consistent lessons on facing my fears. And that my friends, releases freedom.

GSLVSU

I've been commuting on I-10 to downtown for many, many years.  I tend to be an observer and notice cars I see over and over that stand out for whatever noticeable feature - bumper stickers, personalized license plates, decals, etc.  I look around, listen to postive, encouraging KLOVE on the way in and prep for all known and unknown adventures that wait for me as a HR manager.  Recently I needed to confront a prickly co-worker about some unkind comments she said to me.  I knew what I was going to say but I never relish the "sit down, we need to talk" talk.  As my bravado started to wane as I got closer to work, a  white Beemer passed me with the license plate "GSLVSU". My spine straightened and with a wide smile, I said, "I love you too Jesus".  That little sign helped me to turn my negative thinking into a positive experience.  The conversation went just fine.  The same car passed me on the way home.  I've never seen it since.